Whoever created time has long since left, now, I am stuck on the Earth forever. Attempts at being who I should’ve been proved to be failures. How much longer do you want to be who you currently are? The world is ignoring you. It is spinning out of control. There’s no guarantee you will be the same person in the morning. In other words, I haven’t gotten better in years. The sun doesn’t move me anymore. This was only supposed to be a metaphor.
Yesterday was the 7749th day of my life. I woke up on my bathroom floor. It was the eighteenth morning of my life that I woke up on the bathroom floor. I was alone. What’s your plan moving forward? A lifetime ago, I was a stray animal, playing games of rescue and abandonment. At the moment, the seats next to me are still empty, so once again, an unexpected message feels like home.
Even irrelevant decisions change my life. For example, you chose to go north last summer—I never saw you after that. Now, I often let myself disappear. Apparently, there is no one left that I haven’t failed. You should be back up north by now. No need to know where exactly
Some people have personal goals that are respectable. I just want to flee my life. The first night I slept on the bathroom floor, I was inconsolable. The weight crushed me. That morning, the newspapers were terrifying. Unaware this was significant at all, I wrote poems about the fear. It consumed me. Several months passed. Today, I will only speak to people who will forget this about me.
The plans I formed to fix myself didn’t work. Anyway, Life continues, placing one year next to another.
ZNK 